{"id":6979,"date":"2020-01-08T07:59:45","date_gmt":"2020-01-08T07:59:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/carnea.cz\/?p=6979"},"modified":"2020-01-08T08:07:47","modified_gmt":"2020-01-08T08:07:47","slug":"wampir-pise-iv","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/?p=6979","title":{"rendered":"Wamp\u00edr p\u00ed\u0161e IV"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p>Kr\u00e1sn\u00fd ve\u010der, tak jsem zase tady! P\u0159iv\u00edtejte Jeho Milost Wamp\u00edra l.!  Ehm, n\u011bjak jsem se nechal un\u00e9st, \u017ee! Cht\u011bl jsem V\u00e1m zase popov\u00eddat o sv\u00e9m \u017eivot\u011b. Stalo se toho toho za tu dobu, co jsem nepsal, spoustu!  Mimo jin\u00e9 jsem se (op\u011bt) p\u0159est\u011bhoval. Na\u0161t\u011bst\u00ed te\u010f u\u017e naposledy. Kv\u016fli s\u00edl\u00edc\u00ed alergii pani\u010dky tat\u00ednka jsem byl donucen opustit kuchy\u0148 a b\u00fdt u pani\u010dky v pokoji. Zat\u00edm jsem tam byl do\u010dasn\u011b tak n\u011bjak ,,nastr\u010den\u00fd&#8220;, proto\u017ee se v\u0161ichni sna\u017eili situaci vy\u0159e\u0161it a to samoz\u0159ejm\u011b n\u011bjakou dobu trvalo.  Jednoho dne se podemnou zhoupla zem a j\u00e1 u\u017e tu\u0161il, co se bude d\u00edt. P\u0159est\u011bhovali m\u011b, ale pry\u010d od pani\u010dky:-(! Byl jsem na\u0161tvan\u00fd a zbytek dne odm\u00edtal vystr\u010dit \u010dum\u00e1\u010dek z dome\u010dku. Ve\u010der za mnou p\u0159i\u0161la pani\u010dka, donesla mi ve\u010de\u0159i a vzala do ruky kn\u00ed\u017eku. A \u010detla, a \u010detla a \u010detla. Denn\u011b jednu kapitolu. Ostatn\u00ed \u010dlenov\u00e9 rodiny se nesta\u010dili divit, jak reaguji na \u010detbu. Po \u010dase (kdy se u pani\u010dky vymalovalo a p\u0159ed\u011blala cel\u00e1 jedna st\u011bna tvo\u0159en\u00e1 sk\u0159\u00edn\u011bmi) jsem se vr\u00e1til zp\u00e1tky. A tentokr\u00e1t jsem u\u017e neprotestoval. Byl jsem toti\u017e na sk\u0159\u00ednce, ze kter\u00e9 jsem m\u011bl par\u00e1dn\u00ed v\u00fdhled. Tahle sk\u0159\u00ed\u0148ka byla toti\u017e je\u0161t\u011b vy\u0161\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e ta moje p\u016fvodn\u00ed! M\u011bl jsem obrovskou radost:-). Z jedn\u00e9 strany jsem kryt\u00fd sk\u0159\u00edn\u00ed, z druh\u00e9 a t\u0159et\u00ed st\u011bnou. Nec\u00edt\u00edm se tam ohro\u017een\u00fd a net\u00e1hne na mi na z\u00e1da.  Dal\u0161\u00ed v\u011bc co se zm\u011bnila: u\u017e um\u00edm dal\u0161\u00ed triky:-)! K velk\u00e9 radosti pani\u010dky m\u011b to hodn\u011b bav\u00ed. Um\u00edm oto\u010dku na levou i na pravou stranu, taky um\u00edm podat packy do dlan\u011b a poprosit (stoupnout si na zadn\u00ed nohy a skr\u010dit p\u0159edn\u00ed). V\u0161echno um\u00edm na slovo, oto\u010dky na uk\u00e1z\u00e1n\u00ed prstem (doleva a doprava). ,,Poprosit&#8220; je m\u016fj nejobl\u00edben\u011bj\u0161\u00ed trik. A taky ho um\u00edm nejv\u00edc. N\u011bkdy s n\u00edm pani\u010dku citov\u011b vyd\u00edr\u00e1m, aby mi dala n\u011bco dobr\u00e9ho:-). Bohu\u017eel to na n\u00ed ale nefunguje&#8230; A te\u010f ta negativn\u00ed \u010d\u00e1st: pani\u010dka si m\u011b skoro nev\u0161\u00edm\u00e1, co se t\u00fd\u010de j\u00eddla. Pravideln\u011b trp\u00edm hlady a p\u0159esn\u011b TO je ten d\u016fvod, pro\u010d p\u00edsk\u00e1m i v noci, kdy\u017e pani\u010dka jde t\u0159eba na z\u00e1chod :-). Taky m\u011b v j\u00eddle dost omezuje. Nechce mi d\u00e1vat jenom m\u00e1 obl\u00edben\u00e1 j\u00eddla! Tak\u017ee mi p\u0159edhazuje i ty hnusy jako petr\u017eel (no, d\u0159\u00edv jsem j\u00ed jedl, ale&#8230;) a ovoce. A to nejhor\u0161\u00ed &#8211; JABLKO! Fuj, hnus, bl\u00e9\u00e9\u00e9! Pani\u010dka m\u011b p\u0159emlouvala: ,,Poj\u010f Wamp\u00edku, zkus to. Aspo\u0148 si kousni.&#8220; Tak jsem j\u00ed tedy (po d\u016fkladn\u00e9m o\u010dich\u00e1n\u00ed toho hnusu) vyhov\u011bl. Kousl jsem si. Jen tak na p\u016fl zoubku. A okam\u017eit\u011b jsem toho litoval! Za\u010dal jsem prskat a p\u0161\u00edkat. Pak jsem se n\u011bkolik minut zu\u0159iv\u011b myl. Pani\u010dka, ta lh\u00e1\u0159ka, tak\u017ee ze m\u011b m\u011bla jenom legraci. Pr\u00fd \u017ee to bude dobr\u00e9. Tak to ani n\u00e1hodou! Pou\u010den\u00ed &#8211; pani\u010dce s j\u00eddlem u\u017e nev\u011b\u0159it! Ale nakonec v n\u011b\u010dem m\u011bla pravdu. MILUJU hr\u00e1\u0161kov\u00e9 vlo\u010dky. Nebo jak to jinak popsat. Prost\u011b rozm\u00e1\u010dkl\u00fd such\u00fd hr\u00e1\u0161ek. Ten dost\u00e1v\u00e1m, kdy\u017e cvi\u010d\u00edme triky. \u017de by proto m\u011b tak bavily:-)? Pani\u010dka \u0159\u00edk\u00e1, \u017ee jsem p\u011bkn\u00fd uli\u010dn\u00edk a \u017ee mi Je\u017e\u00ed\u0161ek nic nedonese. J\u00e1 ale to co d\u011bl\u00e1m nepova\u017euji za zloben\u00ed. Pravda, r\u00e1d v\u0161echno kou\u0161u. Pani\u010dka m\u011b mus\u00ed hl\u00eddat, abych n\u011bco \u0161patn\u00e9ho nespolkl. Ned\u00e1vno m\u011b m\u011bla v n\u00e1ru\u010d\u00ed v moj\u00ed obl\u00edben\u00e9 ,,tu\u010d\u0148\u00e1kovsk\u00e9&#8220; p\u00f3ze. Tzn. hlavu pod pani\u010dky bradou, ona mi dr\u017e\u00ed zade\u010dek a p\u0159idr\u017euje mi z\u00e1da, abych nespadl. J\u00e1 se sna\u017e\u00edm se j\u00ed zavrtat pod bradu a ona se sm\u011bje, \u017ee j\u00ed to lecht\u00e1. Ale zp\u00e1tky k na\u0161emu p\u0159\u00edb\u011bhu. Pani\u010dka m\u011b takhke dr\u017eela a j\u00e1 jsem byl spokojen\u011bj\u0161\u00ed ne\u017e obvykle. M\u011bla toti\u017e na sob\u011b mikinu (a pozor) se ZIPEM! Ten jsem je\u0161t\u011b neochutnal. Pani\u010dka mi ho musela prakticky vyrvat, proto\u017ee mi neuv\u011b\u0159iteln\u011b chutnal. Ale pak jsem objevil n\u011bco lep\u0161\u00edho. Zavrtat se hlavou a p\u016flkou t\u011bla do mikiny. \u00c1\u00e1\u00e1, to bylo tak p\u0159\u00edjemn\u00e9 mazlen\u00ed\u010dko! Moje dal\u0161\u00ed p\u00f3za je ,,papou\u0161\u010d\u00ed&#8220;. Zkr\u00e1tka sed\u00edm pani\u010dce na rameni. J\u00ed to d\u011bs\u00ed, i kdy\u017e m\u011b dr\u017e\u00ed, boj\u00ed se, \u017ee spadnu. Jakmile si toti\u017e sedne na postel, sk\u00e1\u010du ob\u0159\u00edm skokem na jej\u00edho velk\u00e9ho ply\u0161\u00e1ka. Bohu\u017eel na rameni se j\u00ed d\u00e1 sed\u011bt jen pokud m\u00e1 svoji pletenou vestu od jej\u00ed babi. Na n\u00ed se toti\u017e d\u00e1 par\u00e1dn\u011b dr\u017eet! No nic, budu muset kon\u010dit. Je \u010das na ve\u010de\u0159\u00ed! Hlad! P\u00edsk, p\u00ed\u00ed\u00ed\u00ed\u00ed\u00edsk&#8230;! V\u00e1\u0161 Wamp\u00edr<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"480\" height=\"640\" src=\"http:\/\/carnea.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20190826_103324.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6986\" srcset=\"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20190826_103324.jpg 480w, https:\/\/carnea.cz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/20190826_103324-225x300.jpg 225w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 480px) 100vw, 480px\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kr\u00e1sn\u00fd ve\u010der, tak jsem zase tady! P\u0159iv\u00edtejte Jeho Milost Wamp\u00edra l.! Ehm, n\u011bjak jsem se nechal un\u00e9st, \u017ee! Cht\u011bl jsem V\u00e1m zase popov\u00eddat o sv\u00e9m&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6979","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wampir-pise"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6979","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6979"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6979\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6987,"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6979\/revisions\/6987"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6979"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6979"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/carnea.cz\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6979"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}